I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
