Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You may now shotgun with the bride
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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