we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
