Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
