Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
