Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i think i have herpe
just one?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
do nipples grow back?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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