Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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