At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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