Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
