Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
