So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
