my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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