Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
