ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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