I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
