i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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