Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
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