I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
