But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
