i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
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This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
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I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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