I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
