I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize