last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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