Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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