dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
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