Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
