Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I supernannyed him into submission
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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