last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
he high fived his dick after we had sex
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
