I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
