I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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