btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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