Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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