Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
