I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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