The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
