real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
