Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I need to sanitize my soul.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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