too bad you live with your parents still
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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