remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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