Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
