im drinking this country out of the recession.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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