Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
