there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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