the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
