How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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