so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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