Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
