Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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