im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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