You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
