I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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