drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
