Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
