turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
