I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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