I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
