What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
